Je n’ai pas peur de mourir, mais il me coute de vieillir. Et pourtant je le sais, je le vois, je le sens, mille et un indices me le prouvent, je vieillis ; je vieillis d’autant plus que je travaille à la mine ; je vieillis doublement. Quoique je n’aie que 36 ans sur les registres, en fait j’en ai 70. Mais si je vieillis rapidement au physique, au moral je demeure toujours jeune.
\nJ’aime la jeunesse qui, elle, comme la vieillesse, n’éprouve pour moi qu’indifférence ou mépris. J’aime la jeunesse, je suis attiré là où elle est, là où elle s’épanche. Je ne participe pas à sa joie, je me contente de l’admirer, de la voir se manifester. Aujourd’hui que je suis attaché au poêle, je sens qu’il me manque quelque chose, la lecture des ouvrages sérieux me fatigue. Et les bons livres sont rares ou inaccessibles. Ne pouvant sortir hier, j’ai demandé à ma femme de me rapporter des magazines de cinéma. Il n’y a rien là qui puisse repaître mon âme, semble-t-il.
\nSi, pourtant. Il y a de belles photos montrant de belles femmes et de beaux hommes dans de riches décors ou de merveilleux sites. Tous sourient au bonheur, tous clament la joie de vivre.
\nCertains mentent sûrement. Dans le privé comme dans les studios ils jouent la comédie ; ils y sont tellement habitués. La publicité leur fait dire des choses qu’ils ne pensent pas et prendre des attitudes de commande. Beaucoup sont moins heureux qu’ils n’ont l’air de le montrer ; les uns sont blasés, les autres aigris. Ces déesses et ces dieux sont des esclaves, ne serait-ce que pour le maintien de leur ligne, et leur paradis pourrait bien être un jardin de l’ennui. Ils nous mentent. Et, ce qu’il y a de plus fort, je le sais. Qu’importe. Quand on ne peut vivre, il reste l’illusion de la vie. Je n’en demande pas davantage aux magazines de cinéma. Et je dis aux acteurs et actrices : « Mentez-moi tant que vous voulez, mentez-moi en souriant. C’est votre métier de prodiguer l’illusion comme c’est le mien de produire du charbon. Faites-moi montre de bonheurs et de sourires. Qu’importe qu’ils soient en toc. Je ne demande qu’à être trompé, qu’à croire à quelque chose qui n’existe pas pour oublier ce qui est.
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Qui est « out »
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
Jusqu'à neuf c'est O.K. tu es « in »
Après quoi tu es K.-O. tu es « out »
C'est idem
Pour la boxe
Le ciné, la mode, et le cash-box
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
Moitié bouillon, ensuite moitié gin
Gemini carbure pas au mazout
C'est extrêmement pop
Si t’es à jeun tu tombes en syncope
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
\n
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
Tu aimes la nitroglycérine
C'est au Bus Palladium qu' ça s'écoute
Rue Fontaine
Il y a foule
Pour les petits gars de Liverpool
Qui est « in » Qui est « out »
Qui est « in » Qui est « out »
Barbarella garde tes bottines
Et viens me dire une fois pour toutes
Que tu m'aimes
Ou sinon
Je te renvoie à ta science-fiction.
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »
Qui est « in »
Qui est « out »